I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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