Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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