I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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