drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
