i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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