I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize