Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
soo... how was my night?
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