Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
