Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
