whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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