So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
