the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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