lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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