Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
