I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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