One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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