what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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