Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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