this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
