i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
