do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I had to cum in my sink.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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