And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
As shirtless as possible
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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