At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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