Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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