I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
