i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
