"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
