I feel like abortions should bother me more
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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