how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
