ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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