My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Randomize
