the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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