Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
