At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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