Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
