we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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