too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
