rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
