how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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