More tranny stories later!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
