Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
