My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
