What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
