Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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