Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
there was a trapeze. enough said
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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