Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
