I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
