I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Can you bring me the toilet please
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize