It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
COCAINE IS GR8
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
