i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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