just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
