you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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