I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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