Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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