i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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