just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
