we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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