finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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