idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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