Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
