So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
