I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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