Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
