I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
