The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
