I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you inspire me to be a worse person
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She's just so happy...and so naked.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
