I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
