My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize