whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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